happy Easter!

2 days ago was Good Friday. we had band exchange with a few schools (Woodlands, Compassview, TKGS, ChungCheng Yishun, Junyang and us). wore my school uniform to COSB's production 'The Vacuum' and received some shocked some amused looks. haha, yes i had band on a public holiday(: i was excited and feeling rather confident because i felt evrything was going to be Good!

Ms Sia and Mr Ong are the funniest pair of conductors ever! during TKGS's performance, they were talking loudly to each other across the hall as if they were at school on a normal practice day. i can't believe that Ms Sia used to be Mr Ong's student in band! the way she talks to him and vice versa is most unbelievable, i cannot imagine them as conductor-student last time.

the bands were all good, especially TKGS and ChungCheng(i think). when TKGS played Toccata in D minor and reached the fast bass melody part, the rest of the schools were all holding their breaths looking at the double bassists bowing away. i think ChungCheng was good because on their choice piece they were really smooth and the sax solo reminded me of Mr Leslie when the guy went up to the high notes (left hand side keys D, E etc), which is good. Compassview(or is it ChungCheng? i can't rmb) has the smoothest and purest horn sound i've heard so far for Sunrise too.

when it was our turn(4th) and we played Sunrise, Ms Sia kept indicating for us saxophonists to be more. but i was rly afraid i cldn't hold the phrase to the full value if i up all my air too fast and so i didn't play as loud. grrrr. i feel rly bad that i cannot hold long notes. i shld be able to hold more than 16 counts, but the most i can do is 16, and that's when i am squeezing, going sharp and turning red. hahha i turn red evrytime! it's very embarrassing actually.

Yiddish was fine, just that we rushed abit and when playing it the second time everyone were extremely soft. apart from that, it was over rather fast. i think the solos were great.

ytd, we had sectionals and practiced Sunrise. for once, i can hold up to my full value! we practiced at the carpark and the sun was shining on us. Mr Ong rly showed a lot of concern for us. he made the tubas moved in front beside us and us to move in so as to be in the shade. he was also super funny and blur, always having that puzzled expression when Ms Sia teases him.

anyway, when they came and conducted us, i guess they were in rather good moods. we must be rly improving to sastify them! like Mr Ong said, it's 4 more days, "sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday and then your competition." by then, it will be over. no more intensive band prac, no more scoldings from both of them, no more Yiddish and Sunrise. i have been wondering and i know i wld be feeling empty when this all ends. i enjoy band prac, working hard and knowing ur goal is set and you're all getting ready to achieve it. i am not sick of playing Yiddish or Sunrise. though we are all feeling tensed and stressed up, disappointed, worried and just having more emotions than normal or what we have ever felt before, but it's all going to be go away in 4 days time. by then life's going back to normal and we'll be back to getting stressed at work, tests, friends and those everyday things. these days, they may be tiring and fearful but at least we know that something's coming up and we're playing a part of in the midst of it.. it's a myriad of thoughts and feelings getting mixed up. it's like music, where you've to experience it yourself to know how it feels.

when i see people close to me cracking and breaking down, i don't know what to do. i feel helpless and all i can do is to mutter a quick prayer to God for strength, for encouraging words that apply and for a miracle to take place whr things wld just go fine. tday during service, tears just sprung out when i was praying with chrissy. cldn't stop thinking when things wld be good, i can't stop worrying for my friends, i can't help thinking that i'm useless because i cldn't help them though i want to take away their fears and troubles. i'd do anything to be able to relieve them, to even share their pain so that they will have less.

in the midst of evrything that's going so fast moving, i believe that God is working in me and nudging me, moulding me, helping me.


He's really amazing. nothing can measure the love He gives us. because of His great love, He sent His only son to suffer with us, because of us and for us on Good Friday. the pain Jesus felt both inside and outside was purely out of love for us. all i can give back in return is to love Him back, to thank Him, to depend on Him and to draw close and walk with Him.

i'm sorry my Lord, again and again.